Wednesday, March 1, 2023

How To Make Your CELL PHONE ADDICTION: AMERICA'S NO. 1 PROBLEM

How To Make Your CELL PHONE ADDICTION: AMERICA'S NO. 1 PROBLEM

Perhaps many decades into the future, something will be written about this period that indicates that cellular phones were the beginning of great social revolutions. Perhaps it started a few years ago when Ross Perot was running for president and many of our fellow Americans realized that he could be a really good president. The reason for this was the cellular phone.

You see, it is my belief that the people who actually voted for Ross Perot were also heavy users of cellular phones. They would place the phone near the right ear near the part of the brain responsible for logical thinking, destroying some of the brain cells involved in the process. It leaves these people helpless and hopeless without reason. With this in mind, I can truly declare cellular phones to be the #1 problem in our society and have become the #1 addiction problem in America. What happened to us? Cell phones are now a part of our lives and many of us cannot live without them. We are cell phone crazy.

Cellular phones: a social disease

I was at a restaurant last week, and a cell phone started ringing. Suddenly, like well-timed robots, everyone's hands reach for their purses, pockets, or belts and immediately pick up their cell phones to answer the call. Others searched in panic as they realized the number one communication device might be missing. Even more remarkable, most decided to answer their phone, even though it wasn't ringing.Most were disappointed to find that the call was not theirs. A man picked up the phone, and everyone in the restaurant burst into applause. "Congratulations," they said, everyone cheering, "Maybe next time... I'll be!"

Cell phones have different rings. Some cell phones allow users to choose from 150 different opera sonatas by great composers of our time such as Beethoven or Bach. Ask those users to name any one of them. They can't. In fact, when they choose one of these classic pieces as the 'ring' word, it's always something they heard in one of the Bugs Bunny cartoons. This could be from the classic "Rabbit of Seville".

Some are even rehearsing for the game show "Name That Tune." You know, this is where the contestants say they can name a tune in 6 notes and they can play six notes. With so many tunes to choose from, why do most people stick to one tune? So they all answer the phone at the same time when they are in a restaurant. Well, not at all. Some answer their phone because they forget which one they use as their ring tone. So they pick up their phones to make sure.

Some cell phones come equipped with games. People actually play them... by themselves. There is nothing spectacular about them as they reinvent the game of 'Pong' from the late 70s, early 80s. Where did all those Atari programmers go! Funny thing is that your battery dies while you are playing this dimwit game. Then, your cell phone rang just as you won level 6 of the guess the 3 letter word game. You answer it and the person on the other line tells you that you've won a trip to Tahiti and $100,000 for two, and you have ten seconds to ahappens", your phone turns off. At least you have reached level 6 of the disabled Guess the 3 Letter Word game…

A friend of mine owns a wireless telephone and deals in scrap metal. Wherever he goes, he carries this mobile phone with him and keeps it on. Who will call him at 11:45 PM. Saturday night? About melting someone with a dozen aluminum cans? I could understand him being a brain surgeon or maybe a doctor, but a scrap metal dealer? 

Cell phone addicts are rude

It's amazing how rude people are when it comes to cell phones. I remember the days when you would meet someone and he would regularly pick up the phone and tell his secretary "take all my calls. I'm in a meeting". It was only polite. Now, no one thinks twice about answering your cell phone in the middle of a conversation with you. Obviously the person you were meeting with felt that you were not as important as the other person in line.Yeah, good game last month... Oh, I'm not doing anything.

The reason for this was the cellular phone. They would place the phone near the right ear near the part of the brain responsible for logical thinking, destroying some of the brain cells involved in the process. With this in mind, I can truly declare cellular phones to be the #1 problem in our society and have become the #1 addiction problem in America. Cellular phones: a social disease I was at a restaurant last week, and a cell phone started ringing. In fact, when they choose one of these classic pieces as the 'ring' word, it's always something they heard in one of the Bugs Bunny cartoons. You know, this is where the contestants say they can name a tune in 6 notes and they can play six notes. So they all answer the phone at the same time when they are in a restaurant. Then, your cell phone rang just as you won level 6 of the guess the 3 letter word game. You answer it and the person on the other line tells you that you have won a trip to Tahiti and $100,000 for two, and you have ten seconds to ahappens", your phone turns off. Now, no one thinks twice about answering your cell phone in the middle of a conversation with you.

Now, no one thinks twice about answering your cell phone in the middle of a conversation with you.The The reason for this was the cellular phone. Cellular phones: a social disease I was at a restaurant last week, and a cell phone started ringing. Then, your cell phone rang just as you won level 6 of the guess the 3 letter word game.With this in mind, I can truly declare cellular phones to be the #1 problem in our society and have become the #1 addiction problem in America. So they all answer the phone at the same time when they are in a restaurant.You know, this is where the contestants say they can name a tune in 6 notes and they can play six notes.

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